i literally need just one (o n e) follower 

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Anonymous inquired I think you're a total butt. But like a good butt. Like a REALLY round booty that makes errybody go "DAYUMMMM". Yeah. But in more than one way, not just a 'you're hot' way but also a 'I'd totes go to a pizza party with that booty' kinda way so yeah. Yeah. Booty booty booty.

officialunitedstates:

funnnnstuf:

officialunitedstates:

officialunitedstates:

things that make sense in physics

  • inclined plane
  • pulley
  • screw

things that should not be working but do anyway

  • a gun firing even though there is no power source
  • fridge making things cold when its power source is electricity which is hot
  • magnets
  • leap years
  • how come we haven’t deciphered any animals language completely yet
  • megaphones being loud

to be honest I don’t even know how pulleys work

a lot of fridges have mercury in them to make them cool

okay I know that’s a lie because there’s only one mercury and its huge

blxckbiird:

spaghetti-western-wannabe:

blxckbiird:

spaghetti-western-wannabe:

blxckbiird:

spaghetti-western-wannabe:

blxckbiird:

spaghetti-western-wannabe:

So I can either bake these cookies at 400 degrees for 10 minutes or 4,000 degrees for 1 minute.

nick nO THAT’S NOT HOW YOU BAKE COOKIES FRIEND

FLOOR IT?

NICK NO

HOW ABOUT 4,000,000 DEGREES FOR 1 SECOND

NICK YOU ARE GOING TO BURN YOUR HOUSE DOWN

I’M GOING TO HARNESS THE FUCKING SUN TO MAKE COOKIES

NICK P L E A S E